Life-Loss-Grief

heart-bro-ken [hahrt-broh-kuh n]
adjective
1.crushed with sorrow or grief.

On January 5, my friends, Steven and Peggy pictured center and right, below were killed in a car crash in Miami on the way to the airport after a cruise on Monday. Their son who was also in the car survived. They were friends for 30+ years through births, deaths, everything. My baking buddy every year for 30 years. I can't imagine my world without them in it. I am heartbroken. I will miss them, their live and friendship all the days of my life.

 

 

We laid them to rest yesterday, I gave the eulogy at their funeral....some parts here.....

"I can’t imagine the rest of my life without them. I am filled with unspeakable grief that washes over me in great waves, and makes me feel like I will never stop crying. That grief alternates with raging anger, that makes me want to rip and tear things apart. I want an answer from the universe as to why this event was necessary now, at this time. They weren’t sick, they weren’t old, and they weren’t bad. They certainly weren’t finished with life, and we weren’t finished with them. They were our Steven and Peggy, like peanut butter and jelly they went together, each with their own unique flavor, but together making something wonderful, comforting, constant and familiar."

Steven, Peggy and Stevie came to help me open my quilt shop in North Carolina and Peggy spent the first dollar in my shop. They came the night before and helped me set up the shop even though I know they thought I was crazy.

 

 In 2002, for Peggy's 40th birthday I made her this quilt....

 

I gave it to her at her 40th birthday party, and brought some fabric markers so the party goers could make their well wishes on the back of the quilt.

 

"Happy Birthday to my "old" friend. A quilt in honor of your 40th. A quilt inspired by September 11th tragedy, the quilt pattern is called, "At Home in My Heart." We've seen a lot of life changes in our lives, almost 20 years. Here's to the next 20" Love Di"

 

"I guess the thing that really stays with me about them, is that they were fully present in my life.  No matter where I lived, no matter who I was married to, no matter how much I weighed or what new thing I was into, no matter what, they were fully in relationship with me. The cheered my successes, grieved with me, they gave of themselves over and over. I can honestly tell you we never had an argument in the entire 34 years. We were always in love with each other, loving, caring….and that is really what I will miss the most. That true and steady friendship, that complete and total acceptance that go to in a crisis and go to in joy thing that we had for all these years. I will always hear Steven say, “love you Big D,” and Peggy…”love ya chickie,” with her little giggle. So today is goodbye to our earthly relationship, but you will both live forever in my heart."