Grieving and Stitching

“A feeling of pleasure or solace can be so hard to find when you are in the depths of your grief. Sometimes it's the little things that help get you through the day. You may think your comforts sound ridiculous to others, but there is nothing ridiculous about finding one little thing to help you feel good in the midst of pain and sorrow!”
― Elizabeth Berrien, Creative Grieving: A Hip Chick's Path from Loss to Hope 

 

 

I have been struggling over the last two weeks. Flooded with memories, tearful at times, and at others smiling at the thought of good times shared. This loss has hit me so hard. I have had a genuinely difficult time focusing on much of anything for more than a few minutes, which has made work exceeding difficult. The loss of my friends is still so unbelievable to me. I think I am really still in shock, and so so sad.

 

This weekend, I spent some quiet time with friends...I took some fabrics to be cut... a couple of Valentine's projects.

 

 

Cut out all the little tiny pieces of this "Barn Stars" quilt from Collection 2 of Kim’s Simple Whatnots Club (running January through June of 2015) featuring six little quilts plus a bonus quilt, and stitched from her Heritage Hollow line of quilting fabrics. The quilt will finish at 20 x 20 inches.

 

The colors are pretty...the smallest piece is 1 inch by 1 inch....definitely smaller than anything I have previously sewed. It's what peer pressure will get you into!

 

I also watched a little Villanova basketball while stitching Clue 2 of Gyleen's Bricks, Cobblestones and Pebbles. Check out her website here Colorful Stitches and her Facebook group at Gyleen's Bricks, Cobblestones and Pebbles

 

Clue 1 was the center that used 64 blocks from stash. I was able to pull 64 different blues from my stash, and not use all the options. (hanging my head in stash shame now)

 

While this disorganized cutting and piecing may not be my usual approach, it seems to be the one that is working with my scatteredness and sorrow. So I guess this is what I will do now.

Life-Loss-Grief

heart-bro-ken [hahrt-broh-kuh n]
adjective
1.crushed with sorrow or grief.

On January 5, my friends, Steven and Peggy pictured center and right, below were killed in a car crash in Miami on the way to the airport after a cruise on Monday. Their son who was also in the car survived. They were friends for 30+ years through births, deaths, everything. My baking buddy every year for 30 years. I can't imagine my world without them in it. I am heartbroken. I will miss them, their live and friendship all the days of my life.

 

 

We laid them to rest yesterday, I gave the eulogy at their funeral....some parts here.....

"I can’t imagine the rest of my life without them. I am filled with unspeakable grief that washes over me in great waves, and makes me feel like I will never stop crying. That grief alternates with raging anger, that makes me want to rip and tear things apart. I want an answer from the universe as to why this event was necessary now, at this time. They weren’t sick, they weren’t old, and they weren’t bad. They certainly weren’t finished with life, and we weren’t finished with them. They were our Steven and Peggy, like peanut butter and jelly they went together, each with their own unique flavor, but together making something wonderful, comforting, constant and familiar."

Steven, Peggy and Stevie came to help me open my quilt shop in North Carolina and Peggy spent the first dollar in my shop. They came the night before and helped me set up the shop even though I know they thought I was crazy.

 

 In 2002, for Peggy's 40th birthday I made her this quilt....

 

I gave it to her at her 40th birthday party, and brought some fabric markers so the party goers could make their well wishes on the back of the quilt.

 

"Happy Birthday to my "old" friend. A quilt in honor of your 40th. A quilt inspired by September 11th tragedy, the quilt pattern is called, "At Home in My Heart." We've seen a lot of life changes in our lives, almost 20 years. Here's to the next 20" Love Di"

 

"I guess the thing that really stays with me about them, is that they were fully present in my life.  No matter where I lived, no matter who I was married to, no matter how much I weighed or what new thing I was into, no matter what, they were fully in relationship with me. The cheered my successes, grieved with me, they gave of themselves over and over. I can honestly tell you we never had an argument in the entire 34 years. We were always in love with each other, loving, caring….and that is really what I will miss the most. That true and steady friendship, that complete and total acceptance that go to in a crisis and go to in joy thing that we had for all these years. I will always hear Steven say, “love you Big D,” and Peggy…”love ya chickie,” with her little giggle. So today is goodbye to our earthly relationship, but you will both live forever in my heart."

Tidewater Quilt Guild January Speaker

Attended the January meeting of the Tidewater Quilt Guild Night Chapter last evening. Despite howling wind and heavy rain there were 100 people there! The speaker was a local quilter who has an amazing collection (400+) of quilts from days gone by. Last night he brought circa 1935 quilts that he and his wife had collected over the last 25 years. Some were collected as finished tops, others as tops that needed finishing, which they completed using vintage and reproduction fabrics of the period. They are all fantastic and I hope you enjoy looking at them! 

 

 It was especially nice that he passed them around so that we all could get a closer look. He is a big fan of loving the quilts versus keeping them locked away. We sure did enjoy them.

 A closer look at the fabrics, which are fantastic!